When airlines give you lemons

While we’re on the subject of airplane food, let’s talk about British Airways. Somewhere between London and Philadelphia, a flight attendant ran the drink service with a standardized follow-up question of “would you like a second drink now to enjoy with your dinner later?” I’m not one to stare a double-fisting gift horse in the mouth, so I held out both hands like all the other passengers. Steward II soon came around with my special gluten-free meal and a cheeky comment of “I wasn’t sure if this roll was gluten-free, but then I felt it and it was rock-hard and, as I’m sure you’re aware, that means it’s gluten-free.” I peeled back the foil of my dinner and quickly understood why Steward I had been trying to get us all drunk: the old adage “the Brits invaded the world looking for spices and then decided they didn’t like any of them” still holds true. My plank of lightly salted chicken-fish swam in a sea of plain mashed potatoes, which had been artistically seasoned with – and I cannot stress this enough – ONE ENTIRE HALF OF A HOT LEMON. 

Bottoms up.